How to write an epitaph

Guest post by Michael Wolfe

Four Tips for Writing an Epitaph:

Epitaphs are among the oldest examples of writing in the world, and the form remains popular today. As long as we honor our dead, epitaphs will always be an important way to celebrate their lives. When writing your epitaph, keep in mind that:

1. Epitaphs are short and concise.
2. They convey a strong feeling.
3. Often, someone is speaking in the first person (a relative, a friend; the deceased.)
4. The writer should think about who is being addressed (for example, a passerby.)

Some Thoughts about These Tips:

“Short, concise, and pithy” – Many epitaphs are just one or two lines long. Even those with four or six lines are still short. This limitation can be beneficial. It gives you a chance to sum up a person’s life in just a few words, to give it shape and express real emotion. An epitaph often contains the name of the deceased. Sometimes it includes their hometown and perhaps a reference to their age (old or young):

After many good times with friends his age,

Riding horses and playing ball,

Here he is, back in the earth he sprang from,

Twenty years old, his parents’ pride, Wayne Henry.

Some epitaphs also mention a person the deceased has left behind . . . a relative or friend:>

Jean’s friends will mourn her, her husband too

And three small children, but no one knew

Her from start to sudden stop, the way her father

Knew her and her mother.

“The feeling” – An epitaph may be celebratory or tragic. It is usually heartfelt:

Billy fought three tours in Iraq.

When he signed up for more, we begged him not to.

Now he and his new friends are underground.

An epitaph may also be humorous:

Dr. Marcus was a terrible physician.

His final patient was a marble statue.

He wrapped its broken arm in gauze

And prescribed two aspirin just before he died.

This morning they couldn’t find a pulse.

Now we are carting the statue to the graveyard.

Or it may be ironic:

Phillip was an actor all his life.

He won awards in comedy and drama.

On stage he died a thousand times,

But never quite like this.

The best epitaphs are not overly sentimental or unbearably sad. An epitaph is a chance to sum up a life and express deep feelings. An epitaph is a genuine expression.

“Who is speaking the epitaph?” –  Most good epitaphs have a voice. The epitaph may be spoken by a loved one or a friend, a parent, an employer, a neighbor, a fellow soldier, maybe the owner of a horse or dog or other pet, etc.:

Maria’s parents put up this stone,

Weeping with every letter as we wrote it.

Or it may be the voice of the deceased:

After drinking a lot, eating a lot,

And speaking badly of everyone,

Here I lie where I was born,

Alfred Stearn, in a Mississippi bayou.

“Who does the epitaph address?” –  Some epitaphs make a general statement to the world:

Here lies Thales of Miletus. He invented astronomy.

His name will be written in the stars.

Or:

Here lies the poet Robert Frost.

He had a lover’s quarrel with the world.

Some epitaphs address a passerby:

Stranger, if you pass this grave don’t smirk

Because it only holds a dog . . .

Some epitaphs speak directly to a loved one:

You were my wife. If now and then,

You find yourself with time to kill

From raising our children and entertaining friends,

Come visit me some afternoon, and stay an hour

So we can talk. And if you want, bring flowers.

Good luck in the Epitaph Writing Contest!