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After the Death of a Child

Living with Loss through the Years

Ann K. Finkbeiner

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Named one of the 25 top-rated autobiographies in mental health by Independent Practitioner Magazine

After a child dies, the parent's world changes entirely. Years later, this new world has changed the parents. The exact nature of this change—the long-term effects of the death—illuminates the nature of the bond between parents and children.

Ann Finkbeiner lost her son in a train accident when he was 18. Several years later, she noticed she was feeling better and wondered whether this feeling was what was meant by "recovery." As a science writer, she read the psychological, sociological, and...

Named one of the 25 top-rated autobiographies in mental health by Independent Practitioner Magazine

After a child dies, the parent's world changes entirely. Years later, this new world has changed the parents. The exact nature of this change—the long-term effects of the death—illuminates the nature of the bond between parents and children.

Ann Finkbeiner lost her son in a train accident when he was 18. Several years later, she noticed she was feeling better and wondered whether this feeling was what was meant by "recovery." As a science writer, she read the psychological, sociological, and psychiatric research into parental bereavement. And as a bereaved parent, she asked hard questions of thirty parents whose child had died at least five years before, of all causes and at all ages.

In this book, Finkbeiner combines the research and the parents' answers into a description of the parents' new lives. The parents talk about their changed marriages and their changed relationships with their other children, with their friends and relatives. They talk about their attempts to make sense of the death and about their drastically changed priorities. And most important, they talk about how they still love their children, how the child seems to see through their eyes and live through their actions. They move on through their grief, they get on with their lives, but they never let go of their children. Their wisdom is here presented to any in need of it.

Reviews

Reviews

[W]ritten with warmth, depth, and sensitivity... it will be a comfort to those some way down the road, helping them understand their sorrow and pain, and affirming their own individual way of grieving.

The bravery that Ann Finkbeiner must have had to write this book is incredible... By using her own and other parents' experiences, the author makes the issues speakable, and a sense of peace through connectedness with these parents is conveyed to the reader.

Find a copy... It will exhaust and replenish you.

Enriching. One is struck by the mysterious power of attachment and love in the parent-child bond.

Like mourning itself, this powerful book, much of it in the words of bereaved parents, evokes a series of reactions... It illustrates the hard fact [of human suffering] but also our resilience.

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About

Book Details

Publication Date
Status
Available
Trim Size
6.125
x
9.25
Pages
288
ISBN
9780801859144
Table of Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1. At First
Chapter 2. Marge Ford's Marriage
Chapter 3. Fathers and Mothers, Husbands and Wives: Changes in the Marriage
Chapter 4. Brandt Jones's Family
Chapter 5. Brothers and

Introduction
Chapter 1. At First
Chapter 2. Marge Ford's Marriage
Chapter 3. Fathers and Mothers, Husbands and Wives: Changes in the Marriage
Chapter 4. Brandt Jones's Family
Chapter 5. Brothers and Sisters, Sons and Daughters: Changes in the Relationship with Other Children
Chapter 6. Leight Johnson and His Fellow Man
Chapter 7. Janet Wright's Bad Friends
Chapter 8. Changes Toward Other People
Chapter 9. Chris Reed
Chapter 10. On Guilt
Chapter 11. Delores Shoda and the Uncertainty of Life
Chapter 12. Job's Children: Changes Toward God
Chapter 13. Diana Moores' World
Chapter 14. The Zero Point: Changes in Perspective
Chapter 15. Anne Perkins' Priorities
Chapter 16. Surface Ditties and Carpe Diem: Changes in Priorities
Chapter 17. Walter Levin
Chapter 18. The Nature of the Bond
Chapter 19. One Person Now: The Continuining Trajectory
Suggestions for Further Reading

Author Bio
Featured Contributor

Ann K. Finkbeiner

Ann K. Finkbeiner is an award-winning science journalist and regular contributor to Science, The Sciences, and USA Today and coauthor of The Guide to Living with HIV Infection, also available from Johns Hopkins.